Bible Easter eggs!

In the Book of Exodus, a birth is hidden

Famously, the birth of Moses was hidden from the Egyptians. Likewise, the birth of another boy was cleverly hidden in a perfectly prescient parable.

After 40 weeks of pregnancy 40 decades of captivity, God delivers his baby Israel.

• Like a baby, Israel is abruptly expelled through a passage smeared with another's blood. (His host screams in agony and tries to push him out faster.)
• Like a baby, Israel enters into a bright, dry world where he finally meets his loving father. (Water washes away the residue trying to cling to him.)
• Like a baby, Israel is exclusively fed the same white, sweet, highly nutritious substance for every meal. (An attempt to eat regular food ends poorly.)
• Like a baby, Israel throws a fit when he wants to be fed. (This frustrates his exhausted caregivers.)
• Like a baby, Israel mostly lacks object permanence. ("Help! Moses is gone forever!" "Help! God is gone forever!" "Help! Why am I even out here?")

The people of Israel had to be born again to reach their promised land.

Likewise, we must be born again to reach ours.

The greater serpent

The following story is one of the most iconic in the Bible. How quickly will you recognize it?

• The "morning star", an ancient heavenly figure, makes his presence known on Earth. (He spies a human among the fig trees...)

• The morning star has come to upend the world: to sow chaos and divide family members against each other. (Many see him as the world's #1 enemy.)

• He speaks with an unsuspecting bride, directly challenging her obedience to a law from God. (This law prescribes death for anyone who breaks it, but the morning star doesn't seem to care. At all.)

• "Eat what you want!" "Enjoy your freedom!" "If you listen to me, you won't die!" (Sadly, the bride was previously misled to believe God's law was harsher than God designed. This makes the morning star's suggestions sound more enticing by comparison.)

• The bride does listen, but the morning star has bigger plans: He encourages the bride to become like God! (She's risking everything by listening to this brazen rebel. Won't there be consequences?)

Yes, God promises consequences

• The bride must suffer greatly for following the morning star's advice. (Nevertheless, she's given blessings and encouraged to be fruitful through her hardship.)
• The morning star will be challenged by a figure who ate food in his presence. (Enmity develops.)
• Ultimately, this figure will lift his heel against the morning star, crushing him. (Even knowing this is coming, the morning star refuses to change.)

Two morning stars, one story

This is the famous narrative of the Garden of Eden. But it's more than that.

It's the story of Jesus, cleverly foretold through the story of a subversive serpent who upends the whole world with a single visit.

Yes, everything above describes Jesus, too!

(Did you know he really did come to sow chaos and divide families? See Luke 12:49-53.)

"Break this covenant in case of emergency"

(This Easter egg will be painted soon.)

A father tears his clothing

All throughout the Bible, people display their grief and sorrow by tearing their clothing.

• In 2 Samuel 1:11-12, King David tears his clothing after losing his brother Jonathon and father Saul. (Both are in-laws. Jonathon was loving and sweet; Saul was a scorpion who finally stung himself.)

• In Genesis 37:33-34, The patriarch Jacob tears his clothing after losing his son Joseph. (Jacob, also named Israel, is the source of the country's name.)

• In job 1:19-20, a gentle man named Job tears his clothing after losing all his children. (His name rhymes with "robe", and his story gets better.)

God's son is murdered

"Jesus uttered a loud cry, and breathed his last. And the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom."

God the Father didn't have a tunic or a robe, but he did have a veil.

The veil of the temple

God's veil served as clothing for his holy presence.

• The veil was lifted for just one long-term partner: the High Priest of Israel. (God picked the priest.)
• It veiled the entrance to the holiest room in the temple of God. (Peeking was a shameful crime.)
• Before going in, the High Priest had to bathe, bring gifts, and wear soft clothing. (It was a private act. Absolutely no one could witness it.)
• For everyone, including God's long-term partner: Entering this clothed area without permission meant certain death.

(We all have our own temples to God: our bodies! We must pattern our behavior after God's example.)

The passion of the Father

When his beloved boy dies, the Earth trembles, and God tears his clothing in grief.

(God loves his Son's perfect, selfless obedience. God doesn't love his people working with an evil empire to torture a frightened man to death.)

God never commands child sacrifice

(Under construction! Hard hats are required.)

• In Genesis 22:2, God commands Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son Isaac as a burnt offering. (It's presented as a test; God doesn't ultimately allow Isaac to be hurt.)
• This scene with Abraham overflows with subtle details pointing forward to Jesus. (These include Jesus' manner of death, his general age at death, and the festival during which he was murdered.)

But was it really God who incited Abraham to try to sacrifice his child?

Let's see what the rest of the Bible says.

Quick summary, please!

(The Bible says God commands Abraham to sacrifice Isaac as a burnt offering! Why should we believe that it wasn't God who asked him?)

• God takes the blame for others' bad behavior. (God even takes the blame for something Satan said. Really!)
• God insists it never crossed his mind to command someone to sacrifice their child as a burnt offering. (Why ignore this?!)
• (To be continued... <3)

[todo: a quick conclusion!]

Below, we'll check our sources. No one wants a rotten egg in their Easter basket.

(If you aren't a believer, pretend we're about to argue for a fictional fan theory by appealing to the importance of in-universe consistency.)

Not me, not me, not me!

"There, they burn their sons and daughters in the fire. I have never commanded such a horrible deed! It never even crossed my mind to command such a thing!"

Three times, God firmly insists it never even crossed his mind to command someone to sacrifice their child as a burnt offering.

(Jeremiah 7:31, 19:5, and 32:35.)

These three passages are special: In all the Bible, they're the only examples of God saying an idea didn't cross his all-knowing mind.

Do we ever find God taking the blame?

Yes! God takes the blame for others' behavior in a surprising variety of ways:

• Satan causes King David to obsess over the size of his military. God patiently takes the blame. (In 2 Samuel 24:1, God speaks to King David, telling him to take a military census. Not until much later, in 1 Chronicles 21:1, do we learn God was taking responsibility for Satan's deeds.)
• Satan jealously torments a sweet man named Job. Everyone blames God, and God goes along. (In the narrative, God corrects a large pile of people's misconceptions, but he never corrects anyone for blaming him.)
• Through tears and agony, God allows himself to be tortured to death for the sins of his children. (God is responsible for creating us. Likewise, he offers to take responsibility for all our behavior! We merely need to let him take it.)

The heart of God

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people."

(In just two sentences, Genesis 50:20 manages to summarize the whole Bible.)

God weaves our ugly, selfish choices into heavenly, sweet stories. (Our salvation is a perfect example.)

Let's watch God weave an amazing story for Abraham.

The rescue of Abraham

God rescues Abraham from a family who consorts with evil spirits. In obedience, Abraham turns his heart from the demons his family knows to the God who knows him.

And then those demons politely leave Abraham alone, and everyone lives happily ever after. Right?

"Abraham, you're betraying us to join our sworn enemy. Your new boss promises to kill us all. We're delighted and don't plan to impede you."

Could we take a quick break?

[todo: add a tiny game starring two tiny jellyfish]

Demons, demons, demons

Did Abraham's family really worship demons? (Yes, but proving it requires a few steps.)

• In Genesis 12:1, we learn Abraham is still living in his father's household when God rescues him. (In the Ancient Near East, Abraham's father would have enjoyed absolute authority over his household, including serving as its high priest.)
• In Joshua 24:2-3, we learn that Abraham's father worships "other gods". (As the patriarch and high priest, Abraham's father's religion was his household's religion.)
• In 1 Corinthians 10:20, we're warned that pagan "gods" are demons masquerading as heavenly beings worthy of worship and sacrifice. (If you love your Hindu neighbors, rescue them, just as God rescued Abraham from his.)

Okay. Abraham's family worshipped demons. What does that prove? Do demons actually do anything? Do they really fight against God and his people?

"We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."

To be continued. <3

"No coincidences with God", right?

Genesis 19 sets up a violent scene.

In the city of Sodom, a man named "Lot" finds his house surrounded by a mob of sexual predators.

"All the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. They shouted to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!'"

This raging mob intends to rape his two male guests.

How does Lot respond?

"Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them!"

To everyone's horror, Lot offers to sacrifice his daughters to the mob.

If he gets his way, his poor daughters might even be raped to death, given the heartbreaking parallel scene we find in Judges 19.

(In Judges 19, another mob demands to rape another male guest. That guest sacrifices his own wife to the mob; she is raped so violently that she dies from her injuries.)

Fast forward >>

A whole lot happens. This captures the spirit of events, not their every detail:

• Lot's uncle Abraham begs God to spare his nephew. (God agrees. This is the second time Abraham has rescued Lot.)
• Lot's city of Sodom is completely destroyed, and his wife is destroyed with it. (Lot and his two daughters are the only survivors.)
• Lot's mysteriously banished to a mountain cave with his two daughters. (They live utterly alone.)

Heavenly turnabout

"I form light and create darkness. I make well-being and create calamity. I am the Lord, who does all these things."

Lot had tried to have his daughters raped by a mob. Lot had tried to have sadistic, violent, evil men take turns tearing those women's hearts to pieces.

In that cave, Lot's daughters take turns raping him.

A naked angel, running from grabby men

"A certain young man was following Jesus, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked."

(This Easter egg will be painted soon.)